Random talk about God...
It's hard for me to believe in anything, because every time I put some faith in life I end-up getting disappointed. I was told I was strange when I was in America and didn't believe in God. I was told it was strange when I said I believed in people. They asked me; How can you believe in people? I said; simply because they are the once controlling the world. I haven't heard or seen God anywhere, so it's easier believing in people cause I see them everyday. They walk the street, they sing their tunes, they greet me and we smile. This is real!
People are the world, but so are the flowers, the oceans, the animals and the dirt. We can't ignore it and say God will take care of it. What if, he doesn't exist? What will you do then when the world closes in on you? What will you do when you realize that the only one you can blame is yourself?
Don't tell me it's strange I tell you this, don't pretend it's never crossed your mind, we are all thinkers... Which means we are all capable of predicting different outcomes of our actions.... If I do this, what will happened etc...
Don't tell me that you're only doing what you're doing because of someone else, that is a massive lie dude... You need to stand up for who you are and start to live after your own set of rules... I'm not sure you wanna look back one day and regret living after somebody else's ideas...
To finish this of, I'm not against believing, but you also need to think for yourself. You can't blame it all on God, society, people... You need to realize that you, to a certain point, have the responsibilities for your own actions... If you do a mistake, admit it and move on.... We don't need a faith in heaven to live, we only need to have the faith in ourselves...
I say; Believe in yourself....<3
http://www.nyu.edu/classes/stephens/Believe%20frame%203.JPG
Hm`?
"It´s funny you keep telling me that you miss me cause I´ve stopped lisening. It´s funny that you say you might want me back, cause I don´t give a damn now. And the funniest part is, you disched me and think I would sitt and wait till you realized I was the one and only... Idiot..."
Sometimes writing helps me to think, yeapp even though I´m blond I do think. I start thinking about life and where I will be in the future. Honestly I wish I sometimes I could stop so my head wouldn´t spinn so much.
Yesterday I went to O´Neils, what a shocker huh? I meet some nice new people and some familiar faces as well... And I was, this is strange even for being me, superexcited about a girl who had forgotten my name! cause I suck at remembering names and everybody keeps remembering mine..=) So meeting her gave me hope, I´m not the only one just remembering faces;) haha... Sweet!
I´m thinking more and more about going to San Diego, a city of possibilities! I wanna be able to speak English, when ever and with whom ever I want but also Spanish... So living as a au-pair in San DIego I think can give me both things..=) But my dream place is still New Zeeland<3 always been and will be untill I go! And I would like to go back to Hawaii and live there for a little time aswell or on vaccation!;) I wanna try surfing! I never did last time so I need to do it now!=) 
San Diego!
What shall I do, What shall I do.. the options are hitting me and I feel crazy! How will I ever decide? (The biggest reason to go to the US is to meet up with my amazing friends that I deeply miss...<3, Love you forever!)
Love, Peace and Happiness... KISS!
No more butterflies in the dark....
"You were a beautiful butterfly,
you use to fly free, what happend?
Your wings are now gone,
you have emptiness in your eyes,
dakness fallows you...
The breaths you take are more a silent noise
of what you used to be,
the sound of your heart is death....
Your not a butterfly, not the one I use to know....
What happend? What went wrong?
Like a rose, you will grow,
I give you the words, I give you the power.
Nobody can tell you what to do,
if you want your wings back, they are yours.
If you want your old life back,
your dreams, your hope
come and take them...
You are beautiful,
You are unique,
You are wonderful
and you can once more become life.
I will help you start a new chapter,
I will help you go back to your old life.
Belive me darling, you are worth saving.
Let´s fallow the light in the tunnel,
relize that we are both worth saving......
No more butterflies in the dark...."
http://media.photobucket.com/image/butterflies%20in%20the%20dark/luna_butterfly/fairies/ButterflyGoth.jpg
you use to fly free, what happend?
Your wings are now gone,
you have emptiness in your eyes,
dakness fallows you...
The breaths you take are more a silent noise
of what you used to be,
the sound of your heart is death....
Your not a butterfly, not the one I use to know....
What happend? What went wrong?
Like a rose, you will grow,
I give you the words, I give you the power.
Nobody can tell you what to do,
if you want your wings back, they are yours.
If you want your old life back,
your dreams, your hope
come and take them...
You are beautiful,
You are unique,
You are wonderful
and you can once more become life.
I will help you start a new chapter,
I will help you go back to your old life.
Belive me darling, you are worth saving.
Let´s fallow the light in the tunnel,
relize that we are both worth saving......
No more butterflies in the dark...."
http://media.photobucket.com/image/butterflies%20in%20the%20dark/luna_butterfly/fairies/ButterflyGoth.jpg
Love is my curse.....
"Love is my curse, love is my failur, love is why I´ve been crying
I use to love you man, I use to think about you all the time,
I use to plan my world after yours, íf I could only see you for minut I would be fine.
I was in love with you, I got hurt by you, I fell apart because of you,
I promised myself I would never fall for another man who didn´t love me,
I guess I was not in a position to make that promise,
cause now I´m starting to fall apart again, but this time it´s not because of you,
I´m thinking myself into coma and I hate what Im becoming crazy about...
I guess it´s just to leave this shit behind and start looking for a world I can live in,
cause this world is not what I´ve chose, but what I´ve been given,
Now I need to chose my own world, my own life, my own everything...
You want to become a part of it, let me know,
maybe I leave the door open...."
- Moa Norlinder (Yeah, damn right that´s me;))
I do write now and then, especially when I have something to tell... Maybe not too much right this second but I chose to post it anyway...
My life is pretty good now, I have a summerjobb and I have my friends at home that wants me back. My family and my gang at home are my most loved people, cause those guys could never hurt me... I´m not saying Spain has hurt me but it has made me a little weaker, I think I´m growing stronger again now..... without my gang I put myself in a position where it´s more likely I get myself hurt... Because I can´t call them everytime I need to make a importante decision, of course I can´t always make the right one, but I would get the support from them if it get´s fucked up.... That´s just the way it is.....
I would like to go home and pick up everything exactly like I left it..... But I know it aint possible.... But we are allowed to hope....
Alyways my last couple of weeks I will enjoy and I will be happy and live exactly like you should... Not waist a day on being sad... Belive it or not, I´m not sad now... just very confused about a situation I´ve gotten myself in to.... How come life always need to become so complicated?
Drop-dead-wonderful....
So I had this dream; I would be able to look myself in a mirror and say
"What a beautiful, wonderful girl that stands infront of me..."
This would mean I didn´t need another person to confirm it, I would never look for a guy simply to hear appritiation or sweet comments... Cause I would know I was drop-dead-wonderful.... I would only look for a guy to complete me, in more than one way... both mentally and physically.... And if somebody would tell me;
- Moa you look hot, sexy, cute, sweet, easy on the eye...
what ever... I could simply say Thank you and take it as a compliment instead of thinking they are full of it!
I was told the other day a very sweet compliment and I told the guy; "Yeah right, your so full of it..."
One day people, one day! I will be able to feel like I´m the star in the movie about me....=)
//The Nightbutterfly and the struggle to feel drop-dead-wonderful.....
"What a beautiful, wonderful girl that stands infront of me..."
This would mean I didn´t need another person to confirm it, I would never look for a guy simply to hear appritiation or sweet comments... Cause I would know I was drop-dead-wonderful.... I would only look for a guy to complete me, in more than one way... both mentally and physically.... And if somebody would tell me;
- Moa you look hot, sexy, cute, sweet, easy on the eye...
what ever... I could simply say Thank you and take it as a compliment instead of thinking they are full of it!
I was told the other day a very sweet compliment and I told the guy; "Yeah right, your so full of it..."
One day people, one day! I will be able to feel like I´m the star in the movie about me....=)
//The Nightbutterfly and the struggle to feel drop-dead-wonderful.....
Out in Madrid!
So, I had such a fucking amazing night! Seriously if every night could be spent like that or close to that, I´ll be lucky! ;)
Meet up with Jenna and her 2 friends (both nice girls) at O´Connel and we got a free shot and talked for a bit. Went to Enbabia but it was like no people, but got like 2 free shots. Went after that up to the Penthouse, such a fucking amazing place. Such a view and just incredible!=) I loved it! Meet some nice guys and girls. Got like 2 Rome and Coke and a Mojito from one of them;) Sweet! We all got free drinks. Like in a big bed!=) It was just amazing, no better words to describe it!=)
The view.....
Some cool people...
Me and a amazing Irish girl! Mojitos;) Sweet!
Jenna and me!
Anyhow after been there till like 4-ish... So wonderful talking to the Irish girl Ashling!=) And drinking of course, got a bitt tipsy, not gonna pretend... We went to like a disco place, the first second I walked in, pretty much, I get a big guy coming up talking to me.
"Hey, I´m in the porn business."
- Okey.
"You like porn?"
- Not really.
"Would you like to be in a movie?"
-Öhm NO.
"You wanna have web sex with that guy (pointing at a dude next to him)?"
- Öhm, NO.
"Okey, sorry for asking."
- It´s allright... (Then I fucking dashed!)
But me and Ashling danced and talked for quite a bit... It was a great night and I took the first metro at 6:00, ate a little at the buss stop, and waited there 30min for the buss. SO sickly tired! Came home at about 7-ish and went straight to my bed and just feel a sleep. Unfortnantelly a friend of mine, maybe an exfriend after this haha, called me at 10. I was so pissed and searched everywhere for the phone. Then my fucking sleep was destroied!
Up, ate some breakfast and then back to sleep 2 more hours and after that been awake all day.
Went to a park close to where I live and satt there 3 hours and talked to Dave. We had such a nice time (or at least I did) walked with him to his flat and then headed home. Now I´m here and soon gonna catch the buss to meet up with another friend of mine! Not sure what we´re doing yet cause he said it´s a surprise?
Anyhow... I´m freaking loving the Madridian life now! Hasta luego my angels...<3
Meet up with Jenna and her 2 friends (both nice girls) at O´Connel and we got a free shot and talked for a bit. Went to Enbabia but it was like no people, but got like 2 free shots. Went after that up to the Penthouse, such a fucking amazing place. Such a view and just incredible!=) I loved it! Meet some nice guys and girls. Got like 2 Rome and Coke and a Mojito from one of them;) Sweet! We all got free drinks. Like in a big bed!=) It was just amazing, no better words to describe it!=)
The view..... Some cool people... Me and a amazing Irish girl! Mojitos;) Sweet! Jenna and me! Anyhow after been there till like 4-ish... So wonderful talking to the Irish girl Ashling!=) And drinking of course, got a bitt tipsy, not gonna pretend... We went to like a disco place, the first second I walked in, pretty much, I get a big guy coming up talking to me.
"Hey, I´m in the porn business."
- Okey.
"You like porn?"
- Not really.
"Would you like to be in a movie?"
-Öhm NO.
"You wanna have web sex with that guy (pointing at a dude next to him)?"
- Öhm, NO.
"Okey, sorry for asking."
- It´s allright... (Then I fucking dashed!)
But me and Ashling danced and talked for quite a bit... It was a great night and I took the first metro at 6:00, ate a little at the buss stop, and waited there 30min for the buss. SO sickly tired! Came home at about 7-ish and went straight to my bed and just feel a sleep. Unfortnantelly a friend of mine, maybe an exfriend after this haha, called me at 10. I was so pissed and searched everywhere for the phone. Then my fucking sleep was destroied!
Up, ate some breakfast and then back to sleep 2 more hours and after that been awake all day.
Went to a park close to where I live and satt there 3 hours and talked to Dave. We had such a nice time (or at least I did) walked with him to his flat and then headed home. Now I´m here and soon gonna catch the buss to meet up with another friend of mine! Not sure what we´re doing yet cause he said it´s a surprise?
Anyhow... I´m freaking loving the Madridian life now! Hasta luego my angels...<3
I can get it if I really want to....
I can get it if I really want cause I deserve happiness... I deserve it all but I never really gotten it all, maybe it´s my turn now? I just wanna feel like I did this last summer before hell broke loose... I really don´t know what went wrong but something got messed-up... and I just became unhappy with myself again... I did promise myself to never fall that hard again and my tattoo represent "I´m in peace with myself and I´m flying off to new adventures..." It´s time to start living the life I decided I would about 1 year ago...
SO I CAN GET IT IF I REALLY WANT, But I must try try and try......<3 I will succed at last....=)
Smile, love and live!
Travel partner?
Why do we keep putting hell on the ice and ice on the hell...?
I really don´t know anymore, feels like I´m stuck in a bubble sometimes. I get happy and excited about doing things just to end up getting annoyed and cranky.... I don´t know really? If this blogg dosen´t make sence now, hehe, you should only know how less sence it made in Swedish.. Jesus!;P
Living life everyday and enjoying every minit of it is hard... But I came to realize I´m loooking for something more than you can offer me... Right now I just wanna go anway as a Backpacker or an do another au-pair trip.. I need to see a new place after summer and I would LOVE to go to New Zeeland!=) It´s such an amazing country... And while I´m there why not.. Australia, Samoa and other places close to it... If anybody is up for it, please let me know..=)
Today I thought it would be more fun just tanning and getting brown but will go to the outlet factory with Eve and shopp until we drop;) haha... no but need a few things that I will look for.=) some summerdresses aren´t ever wrong are they?;)
"I have a picture of a man who use to sitt in that chair....."
I really don´t know anymore, feels like I´m stuck in a bubble sometimes. I get happy and excited about doing things just to end up getting annoyed and cranky.... I don´t know really? If this blogg dosen´t make sence now, hehe, you should only know how less sence it made in Swedish.. Jesus!;P
Living life everyday and enjoying every minit of it is hard... But I came to realize I´m loooking for something more than you can offer me... Right now I just wanna go anway as a Backpacker or an do another au-pair trip.. I need to see a new place after summer and I would LOVE to go to New Zeeland!=) It´s such an amazing country... And while I´m there why not.. Australia, Samoa and other places close to it... If anybody is up for it, please let me know..=)
Today I thought it would be more fun just tanning and getting brown but will go to the outlet factory with Eve and shopp until we drop;) haha... no but need a few things that I will look for.=) some summerdresses aren´t ever wrong are they?;)
"I have a picture of a man who use to sitt in that chair....."
Can I be with you?
"I can´t belive we sitt in this road yet again, with only the memories of our past... We live in this circle and what comes around goes around... but we will never be the same again.... Where I used to laugh I now cry, where you used to sing it´s now silence, where my heart used to be is only a pain now... When are we gonna make it better?"
Let´s see the day for what it is and see tomorrow for what it can be...=) It´s all right to be sad now and then, it´s all right to hate life now and then but we gotta be strong and carry on... I´m not sure about you, but I wont let myself fall that hard again... even though I did some stupid things today I´m happy about who I am... and I might not see myself as pretty or beautiful BUT I see myself as an amazing person.... I´m funny and unic and there aren´t too much things I wanna change avout myself... Only one thing.... I need to lose a few pounds... I feel like "Chubby Chubbyson" and I wanna be like I was this summer... Just Moa...
I have had the greatest weekends with my spanish kids. I´ve been playing, singing and dancing with them. Yesterday we went to a magic show and I loved it... Was as taken as the kids, guess I´m still a kid in my heart?! Well, me and the little girl Claudia are so close now... We decided this morning that she is my Spanish sister.=) And that she will be in my heart for ever...=) Which she will be and so will the boy Guille.=) I have really enjoyed my time with them and the two fallowing months we will have a blast.=) Summer is on it´s way and I can´t wait for it to get warmer...=) Need a nice brown color before I go home and need to be 5 kg lighter....=P
One day at the time, I´ll make it cause I do one day at the time. Step by step I will return to whom I used to be...
Can I be with you?
Let´s see the day for what it is and see tomorrow for what it can be...=) It´s all right to be sad now and then, it´s all right to hate life now and then but we gotta be strong and carry on... I´m not sure about you, but I wont let myself fall that hard again... even though I did some stupid things today I´m happy about who I am... and I might not see myself as pretty or beautiful BUT I see myself as an amazing person.... I´m funny and unic and there aren´t too much things I wanna change avout myself... Only one thing.... I need to lose a few pounds... I feel like "Chubby Chubbyson" and I wanna be like I was this summer... Just Moa...
I have had the greatest weekends with my spanish kids. I´ve been playing, singing and dancing with them. Yesterday we went to a magic show and I loved it... Was as taken as the kids, guess I´m still a kid in my heart?! Well, me and the little girl Claudia are so close now... We decided this morning that she is my Spanish sister.=) And that she will be in my heart for ever...=) Which she will be and so will the boy Guille.=) I have really enjoyed my time with them and the two fallowing months we will have a blast.=) Summer is on it´s way and I can´t wait for it to get warmer...=) Need a nice brown color before I go home and need to be 5 kg lighter....=P
One day at the time, I´ll make it cause I do one day at the time. Step by step I will return to whom I used to be...
Can I be with you?
happinessssss
It´s so weird what we put ourselves through.... I can´t belive I choose to fall so hard just like a day ago... I can´t belive I have to go through that shit over and over again.. I will try to stay away from it now... Need to think of other good stuff in life, and there is a bundle...
1. I´m healty.
2. Have friends + family.
3.Traveling the world.
4. Writing my book and other stuff as well.
5. Being in Madrid and partying like a Rockstar;)!
Anyways, I´m whipping that sad smile of my face and putting on a happy smile...
Been with the children since 4:15 yesterday and we are having a great good time... I really love them and I´m gonna miss them like crazy... Maybe not the living in Alcobendas and distance to Madrid but the family is in my heart forever... <3
Got a first real task today and will be alone with the kids tonight.. the mother will go out with some friends and it will be the 3 off ous for the first night since I got here. So will see what´s gonna happend...=) And monday I´ve decided me and Eve will go to the outlet to do some serious shopping;) haha.. I told her for like 5 min ago... The two coolest Swedes in Madrid in San Sebastian de los Reyes..;) Can it become better? I think not!=)
Will go to a magic show tonight with the family so excited about that.. Haven´t been to a show for a long time... It´s fun hanging with kids cause you get to do/see things you wouldn´t have in other case....
Well might write more tonight... Love, Peace and Happiness untill then!=)
//The Butterfly in peace.....
1. I´m healty.
2. Have friends + family.
3.Traveling the world.
4. Writing my book and other stuff as well.
5. Being in Madrid and partying like a Rockstar;)!
Anyways, I´m whipping that sad smile of my face and putting on a happy smile...
Been with the children since 4:15 yesterday and we are having a great good time... I really love them and I´m gonna miss them like crazy... Maybe not the living in Alcobendas and distance to Madrid but the family is in my heart forever... <3
Got a first real task today and will be alone with the kids tonight.. the mother will go out with some friends and it will be the 3 off ous for the first night since I got here. So will see what´s gonna happend...=) And monday I´ve decided me and Eve will go to the outlet to do some serious shopping;) haha.. I told her for like 5 min ago... The two coolest Swedes in Madrid in San Sebastian de los Reyes..;) Can it become better? I think not!=)
Will go to a magic show tonight with the family so excited about that.. Haven´t been to a show for a long time... It´s fun hanging with kids cause you get to do/see things you wouldn´t have in other case....
Well might write more tonight... Love, Peace and Happiness untill then!=)
//The Butterfly in peace.....
Don´t fucking know anymore...
"This is not the world I live in, this is not the life for me... My worlds bigger than your problem and it´s bigger than me..."
- 3 Doors Down
How long am I supposed to pretend I´m normal? I tell you my sickness is getting better, but I keep falling in big fucking hole. Maybe I should just get help and see if there is any way I can solve this... Cause honestly, not sure how much longer I can take the pain I´m putting myself through.... Not sure how much fall-backs I can last... What´s wrong with me? Why is it so hard to stop treating my body like a garbage-can...? Oh fuck you, and fuck life... I aint gonna pretend I´m all fucking jolly when I think of the shit I´m doing...
Let´s write something fun for a change...
Went out with "JUST pals" yesterday and we had a nice time. I love those girls, right now they are my world. They put some sunshine in my life..=) Well we meet up at about 22:00 pm, went to O´Conell to sitt and have a drink. We decided to stay out a nighter and take the first metro home at 6:30 (found out the first goes at 6:00 now). So meet some English speaking people in O´Connels that we talked to and then we went out to find Inbabia... Except nobody had heard of it... Well we ended up finding a Café place and took som Churros con Chocolate.... Where we stayed till like 4.30 ish....
Walked down to Chueca (the gay area) and went into a disco... Meet some really cute gay guys that we danced with. Enjoying life and beeing retards (or maybe that was just me;P).... Anyhow... after a few second I looked for my bag and realized it was GONE!!!! I paniced! My wallet, Bono-card, drivers licens, Visa card, money, phone, camera... etc where GONE! I was so freaking pissed and started to say bad names and hating this country... Well Hayly and Catrin thought I should look with the people who worked there if they seen a bag... I told them it was no point.... But did that after a while anyways... And to my relife they stopped the guy who stole my bag before he took of... And I didn´t loose anything cause it was all in there... OH, MY FUCKING LUCK! I was soooo happy and so thankfull!!!! SOmetimes the world is great... But now... I aint trusting any fucking person close to my bag.... It was a close call.....!
Another day, and another try to reach out from the darkness and in to the light....<3
//peace out!
- 3 Doors Down
How long am I supposed to pretend I´m normal? I tell you my sickness is getting better, but I keep falling in big fucking hole. Maybe I should just get help and see if there is any way I can solve this... Cause honestly, not sure how much longer I can take the pain I´m putting myself through.... Not sure how much fall-backs I can last... What´s wrong with me? Why is it so hard to stop treating my body like a garbage-can...? Oh fuck you, and fuck life... I aint gonna pretend I´m all fucking jolly when I think of the shit I´m doing...
Let´s write something fun for a change...
Went out with "JUST pals" yesterday and we had a nice time. I love those girls, right now they are my world. They put some sunshine in my life..=) Well we meet up at about 22:00 pm, went to O´Conell to sitt and have a drink. We decided to stay out a nighter and take the first metro home at 6:30 (found out the first goes at 6:00 now). So meet some English speaking people in O´Connels that we talked to and then we went out to find Inbabia... Except nobody had heard of it... Well we ended up finding a Café place and took som Churros con Chocolate.... Where we stayed till like 4.30 ish....
Walked down to Chueca (the gay area) and went into a disco... Meet some really cute gay guys that we danced with. Enjoying life and beeing retards (or maybe that was just me;P).... Anyhow... after a few second I looked for my bag and realized it was GONE!!!! I paniced! My wallet, Bono-card, drivers licens, Visa card, money, phone, camera... etc where GONE! I was so freaking pissed and started to say bad names and hating this country... Well Hayly and Catrin thought I should look with the people who worked there if they seen a bag... I told them it was no point.... But did that after a while anyways... And to my relife they stopped the guy who stole my bag before he took of... And I didn´t loose anything cause it was all in there... OH, MY FUCKING LUCK! I was soooo happy and so thankfull!!!! SOmetimes the world is great... But now... I aint trusting any fucking person close to my bag.... It was a close call.....!
Another day, and another try to reach out from the darkness and in to the light....<3
//peace out!
Ja what the fuck?
"Your eating again cause nobody loves you....."
I
Gonna go for a walk now and I hope I´m all good when I get back... Sorry guys but I need to be honest...Can´t live in a bubble without truth, been doing that too much in the past....
Love You!
Life can be all we want it to be right? That´s what I keep telling myself too. The problem is that I am weak, not physicaly but mentaly. I hate when I let myself fall down in those stupid holes that makes me feel like I just wanna give up on myself. But there is so much more to see and do in life. I wanna see the world and let the world see me!
I came to realize that I do hate running, but after the running is done I feel like a new person. If I had a bad day the running makes me happy and I enjoy life again after. Today while I was out on my jogg I lisen to some songs that normal people probobly don´t wanna lisen to while running but I don´t care. Those songs makes me happy and even though they are slow they are wonderful. Hehe, well if I had my Ipod it would be 3 Doors Down, Takida, Bryan Adams etc... really loud... But I don´t have that possibility now and I´ve started to think it´s a good thing I can hear the birds aswell...
One question that hit me today was; What´s with the weather? I mean we are in Spain, where is the sun? Or at least the warmth?
Other than that life is pretty sweet, today I´ve been chilling and working on my book. I haven´t written more pages, I think, but been working on correcting and rewriting. It´s a lot of work trying to creat a book, I promise you! One day, hopefully soon I will be holding it and just thinking it was all worth it...=) I know I will..=) Anyways, corrected till about page 33 on words and have like 40 more to go and the trying to finish it!=) I should continue with it now... But I love you all guys and enjoy your day! I will enjoy mine from inside cause it´s raining again:P
Puss, Beso, Kiss!
Kärlek, Amor, Love!
Fred, Paz, Peace!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVzkjXffAuU (A wonderful song!)
But in the end it´s right.....
Hello whom ever reads my blogg!
Today I´ve had a nice day and it feels like there is many more of those to come. I´ve started to realize I´m pretty good as I am and I don´t ever need to be pressed down again! I´m sick of people telling me what to do and what not to do... I´ve lived and I´ve learnt before on their terms but now on my own...
I keep asking myself what I want out of life, and honestly I have no clue? But right now it dosen´t bother me cause today I´m happy being where I am... I´m happy taking a day as it passes me by. Writing, singing and just being creative...=)
I hope that I one day can make a living of doing what I love the most.... I love writing and I love singing.... Being told I can´t sing so let´s all just hope my writing works out then;) hehe....
Well their is alot of people who don´t understand a good voice when they hear it.. haha... so who knows;)?
Today I will start being a au-pair again and I gotta tell you, I´ve enjoyed being by myself a few days but I missed those two cuties...=) So now I will be Moa the au-pair and get a normal life again.. before I was a Swedish girl enjoying the party life in Madrid;)! Haha... Well honestly, I will become both of them now... Cause me and Hayly will kick butts in Madrid;)!
I had the most weird dream this night... I was getting a new tattoo and the woman who made it.... did some weird stuff and I ended up with tattoos all over my hands and head... In weird colors... and all I could think was "Fuck this is not happening!" How should I think of this dream? Good sign or bad..? Maybe think again on a new tattoo...? But I kinda want another one....=P Jeeeessss! Haha, such a retard!
Gotta do some good stuff now and not waist another day...=) Have a new day to catch!=)
Love, Peace and Hapiness!
Cool car... it´s wicked man;)!
I keep asking myself what I want out of life, and honestly I have no clue? But right now it dosen´t bother me cause today I´m happy being where I am... I´m happy taking a day as it passes me by. Writing, singing and just being creative...=)
I hope that I one day can make a living of doing what I love the most.... I love writing and I love singing.... Being told I can´t sing so let´s all just hope my writing works out then;) hehe....
Well their is alot of people who don´t understand a good voice when they hear it.. haha... so who knows;)?
Today I will start being a au-pair again and I gotta tell you, I´ve enjoyed being by myself a few days but I missed those two cuties...=) So now I will be Moa the au-pair and get a normal life again.. before I was a Swedish girl enjoying the party life in Madrid;)! Haha... Well honestly, I will become both of them now... Cause me and Hayly will kick butts in Madrid;)!
I had the most weird dream this night... I was getting a new tattoo and the woman who made it.... did some weird stuff and I ended up with tattoos all over my hands and head... In weird colors... and all I could think was "Fuck this is not happening!" How should I think of this dream? Good sign or bad..? Maybe think again on a new tattoo...? But I kinda want another one....=P Jeeeessss! Haha, such a retard!
Gotta do some good stuff now and not waist another day...=) Have a new day to catch!=)
Love, Peace and Hapiness!
Cool car... it´s wicked man;)!Utkast: Lyrics to ...
Lyrics to Portions For Foxes : - Rilo Kiley
There's blood in my mouth 'cause i've been biting my tongue all week.
I keep on talking trash, but i never say anything.
And the talking leads to touching,
And the touching leads to sex,
And then there is no mystery left.
And it's bad news, baby i'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news
I know i'm alone if i'm with or without you,
But just being around you offers me another form of relief
When the lonliness leads to bad dreams,
And the bad dreams lead me to calling you,
And i call you and say "c'mere!"
And it's bad news, baby i'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news
And it's bad news,baby it's bad news
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news
'Cause you're just damage control
For a walking corpse like me,
Like you,
'Cause we'll all be portions for foxes.
Yeah, we'll all be portions for foxes.
There's a pretty young thing in front of you
And she's real pretty, and she's real into you
And then she's sleepin'inside of you.
And the talking leads to touching, then the touching leads to sex
And then there is no mystery left.
And it's bad news. I don't blame you,
I do the same thing. I get lonely too.
And you're bad news; my friends tell me to leave you,
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news
You're bad news,baby you're bad news
And you're bad news, baby you're bad news
And you're bad news
I don't care i like you
And you're bad news
I don't care i like you
I like you
There's blood in my mouth 'cause i've been biting my tongue all week.
I keep on talking trash, but i never say anything.
And the talking leads to touching,
And the touching leads to sex,
And then there is no mystery left.
And it's bad news, baby i'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news
I know i'm alone if i'm with or without you,
But just being around you offers me another form of relief
When the lonliness leads to bad dreams,
And the bad dreams lead me to calling you,
And i call you and say "c'mere!"
And it's bad news, baby i'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news
And it's bad news,baby it's bad news
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news
'Cause you're just damage control
For a walking corpse like me,
Like you,
'Cause we'll all be portions for foxes.
Yeah, we'll all be portions for foxes.
There's a pretty young thing in front of you
And she's real pretty, and she's real into you
And then she's sleepin'inside of you.
And the talking leads to touching, then the touching leads to sex
And then there is no mystery left.
And it's bad news. I don't blame you,
I do the same thing. I get lonely too.
And you're bad news; my friends tell me to leave you,
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news
You're bad news,baby you're bad news
And you're bad news, baby you're bad news
And you're bad news
I don't care i like you
And you're bad news
I don't care i like you
I like you
Hola Chicos y chicas!
I can´t understand how people have the energy to care about crap stuff? Just try to see some bright fucking points of your life!! I know life do suck sometimes, but it´s like a "roler-coster" and if it only goes up then how exciting thrills would you get? I mean you would never really appreaciate the good times if you only had good times....would you?
And I´m also sick of myself for being a confused and messed up little girl... Or not really little anymore but you know what I mean... I hate in a way not knowing my next move, my next direction. But in another way I love it cause it makes me feel free as a bird... I will never let nybody hold me down and make me do something I don´t want to so what´s left for me to do now is think about how to move in the next up-coming year...=) Maybe I wont be so confused in the the future..?Haha... probobly always will..;)
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http://ajroxmywhitesox.mlblogs.com/confused%20(blackfive.net).jpg
Yesterday it hit me when I woke up at 14:00 how blessed (in a not religious way, of course) I am to be enjoying my life. I get to experience so much more than a lot of people and meet so many interesting friends and talk to people from countries so different from my own. I´m not in a secure bubbel anymore, haven´t been since I was 18 and honestly the bubble dosen´t fit me anymore....
Now I need to go for a run and I´ll catch you darling later..... And I will never stop being me as long as you wont stop being you....
Love, Peace and Butterflies....<3
And I´m also sick of myself for being a confused and messed up little girl... Or not really little anymore but you know what I mean... I hate in a way not knowing my next move, my next direction. But in another way I love it cause it makes me feel free as a bird... I will never let nybody hold me down and make me do something I don´t want to so what´s left for me to do now is think about how to move in the next up-coming year...=) Maybe I wont be so confused in the the future..?Haha... probobly always will..;)
http://ajroxmywhitesox.mlblogs.com/confused%20(blackfive.net).jpg
Yesterday it hit me when I woke up at 14:00 how blessed (in a not religious way, of course) I am to be enjoying my life. I get to experience so much more than a lot of people and meet so many interesting friends and talk to people from countries so different from my own. I´m not in a secure bubbel anymore, haven´t been since I was 18 and honestly the bubble dosen´t fit me anymore....
Now I need to go for a run and I´ll catch you darling later..... And I will never stop being me as long as you wont stop being you....
Love, Peace and Butterflies....<3
English or Swedish?
Okey this diary/note/blogg intrence will be in English cause I´m not in the mood to think in Swedish now... (stange I know, but bear with me)... And I´m also thinking about starting to write in English cause then all of my friends can be able to read what I´ve written... But the sad part is that they will see my spelling is not the greatest.... =P Lets try it today and see about, what will happend after today...
My free week looked like this:
Monday - Vacation feelings so didn´t do too much during the day! Then I went out with Jenna in Madrid for a few hours and meet some awesome people..;) Came home around 2:30-ish? (Haven´t written any diary so have to do that next...)..
Tuesday - School, tried to visit Eve in Aljarvir but the house and stuff was to difficult to find so after like 1 hour of walking around I gave up and went home. Went out again to O´Neils and meet my pals there.=) Realized my Ipod was stole on the metro so a little pissed and depressed that my music was gone.=( But I have a positive way of looking at it, at least it was just a material thing that can be replaced...=) And now I can hear the birds sing;P haha.... Anyway me and Hayly hit back home all right time which made me come home about 01:30...=)
Wendsday - Relax, relax and a major cleaning! So boring but good to be done with it...;) Cleaned for like 2-3 hours and honestly I didn´t mind it cause I had the music player on so..=) Got 2 book in the libary and also 1 movie called Miss Potter..hehe... yeahyeahyeah judge me..=P Had a spa-night with facial mask, foot scrubb and a hot long shower..=) Bed early!=)
Thursday - Nice and sweet day. Then out to The Beerstation where I meet some new interesting people... And my new French girl mate...=) And I had a awesome run this day aswell! With my old MP3 player....
Friday - Calm day with running and writing. Wrote more on my cours novel and on my book..=) Then at about 9-ish I left to meet up with Hayly and then Jenna. We just did the town with dancing, talking and drinking...Haha, like 3 drinks (2 at home and a margarita at O´Connels) and 4 shots.... Then I sleept over at 4 brasilians appartment, I sleept in a bed and they at the couch so it was all good.. We talked, watched pictures till about 8- ish in the morning....
Saturday - Then I took a metro at about 12:30...=) Came home and Gemma was home. Talked a litte and then I went to shop an MP3... found one and was all happy but the volum bottom sucks... it´s so low that I can´t hear the musik in the metro or on the buss...
So I asked myself whats the f- ing point in having it then?
Anyways, meet up with Jenna at about 23:20 at O´Connels and we meet Mel, Dee and some other cool people too. Went to Babia (or how you spell it) and just danced and had a awesome time today aswell... =) Went to Mels flat, which is so awesome, lisening to Rock first and talking and then I catched a metro at about 7 today and came home at around 8.. Eat a little and then straight to bed and sleept to 2-ish...=) Love Life!=)
And then I have made a plan with Hayly to do the best of the rest of our stay... we will be partying some more and enjoying life here more..=) Also I started to take up running for real this week...=) Was runnig 3 times... and we´ll see if I can pull myself togheter for the 4th today...=P Hehe, not sure....
Life is just amazing and it feels like I´m actually enjoying my stay so much more now.... So let´s freaking enjoy the last up coming weeks of an amazing thing called Life!
Love You all and Peace Out!
I´m no superman....
I know ...
"I know I´ve been waiting for something that hasen´t come true.. And it might come along soon and until then you will do.." - Hello Saferide...
Så jävla grym text å ärligt e de precis så jag känner... Orkar inte vänta på att Mr.Right ska komma å knacka på. Jag tänker inte leva å ångra något utan från och med nu blir varje dag ett äventyr. Jag letar inte längre efter någon eller något, jag lever livet. Man kommer ibland till en punkt i sitt liv där man känner att man inte orkar förvänta sig att allt kommer sluta lyckligt... kanske funkar de för vissa men inte för andra.
Jag ska ut å fånga vinden, tänker inte längre lyssna på andra utan nu lägger jag mitt eget spår och följer min egen väg...
Vi är bara människor och därför kan ingen kräva perfektion från oss. Vakna upp och se verkligheten för vad den e, vi e inte perfekta men vi är alla unika och underbara på vårat egna lilla vis. Förstår inte att de ska vara så svårt att inse det, att jag personligen ska kunna inse det oxå. Okej, kanske att jag har nått kg övervikt men so what?
Jag borde se mig för den jag är och den jag alltid varit... Hur många människor skulle göra det jag gör nu? Gå ut många tisdagar och torsdagar själv och prata med främlingar? Få nya kontakter och nummer varje gång hon e ute? Ne, folk gillar mig för den jag är... Och därför borde jag gilla mig för den jag är oxå...
- Jag är unik, underbar och redo för nästa äventyr...
Som en fjäril på en sommaräng kommer jag följa vinden vart den än bär mig......
?
Du kan kalla mig en drömmare eller oxå en realist. Jag vill se världen för det är vad jag är skapad för. Det finns saker jag måste göra och saker ja vill göra. Leva mitt liv tillhör båda kategorierna!=)
Fick en låt av en av mina kompisar häromdagen då ja hade en lite sämre dag.... Här kommer en del text från den:
Kapten Röd - Trasig...
" Du är inte trasig, behöver inte fixas åhnejnej
När priset går upp kommer själen gå ner
Du är inte trasig, behöver inte fixas åhnejnej
Du kan sluta o leta det finns inga fel...."
Det är sant, ingen av oss är trasiga... Vi måste sluta tro de... Vi är alla unika på vårat eget sätt....
Ge aldrig upp på era drömmar, en dag kommer ni lyckas!=)
Love, Peace and the persuit of happiness!
Hm....?
Unless you think of yourself as useless you aren´t useless... Remember, your own worst anime is yourself... You are the harshest judge... Don´t pull your own leggs of! If you want the world under your feet, you deserve the world!=)
Seriöst, this world can bring us down but I won´t turn away... I won´t duck and run... I ain´t build that way (3 doors down)...!
Jag kan välja att se livet i färg eller livet i mörker. Jag älskar färg så det valet e relativt enkelt. Jag är en glad lärka som väntar på sin sommarsång... Jag är en fågel på en gren som väntar på solens värmande kraft och framförallt e jag en flicka på väg mot livets äventyr...
Haft en relativt bra vecka med en del ledighet... Så blidde O´Neils på torsdagen, ut å fika me Diego å en kompis till han på fredagen, lördagen ut med Leó å 8 andra franska människor. Jag har haft de roligare för de visade sig att en av de killarna va ganska så dryg... Jag saknar de vanliga svenska pojkarna, där vet man lite mer vilka som räknas som dryga eller ej...=P Well han fick hela sällskapet å tycka de va dåligt att ja inte kan prata flytande spanska fast ja vare här 6 månader... men fan svenska e inte ens likt spanska som franskan e... Å dessutom hans engelska va rätt kass, den dagen han har lika bra engelska som mig kan han klaga på mig=P Annars kan han va tyst....=P
Menmen, denna vecka e jag ledig! Skönt!=) Ska njuta av ensamheten..;) Blir inge mer sånt sen förens ja e i Barcelona.. Började tänka igår på hur kort jag ha de kvar... bara typ 2 månader, känns både vemodigt å skönt.... vette fasiken va de blir sen... letar en ny familj i Spanien men vill bara stanna några månader då....
Borde kanske göra nå nytta av denna dag nu... Älskar er mina vänner å tro på er själva ni e underbara!=)
We are the world.....<3
Peace!
Hasta La Vista!
Seriöst, this world can bring us down but I won´t turn away... I won´t duck and run... I ain´t build that way (3 doors down)...!
Jag kan välja att se livet i färg eller livet i mörker. Jag älskar färg så det valet e relativt enkelt. Jag är en glad lärka som väntar på sin sommarsång... Jag är en fågel på en gren som väntar på solens värmande kraft och framförallt e jag en flicka på väg mot livets äventyr...
Haft en relativt bra vecka med en del ledighet... Så blidde O´Neils på torsdagen, ut å fika me Diego å en kompis till han på fredagen, lördagen ut med Leó å 8 andra franska människor. Jag har haft de roligare för de visade sig att en av de killarna va ganska så dryg... Jag saknar de vanliga svenska pojkarna, där vet man lite mer vilka som räknas som dryga eller ej...=P Well han fick hela sällskapet å tycka de va dåligt att ja inte kan prata flytande spanska fast ja vare här 6 månader... men fan svenska e inte ens likt spanska som franskan e... Å dessutom hans engelska va rätt kass, den dagen han har lika bra engelska som mig kan han klaga på mig=P Annars kan han va tyst....=P
Menmen, denna vecka e jag ledig! Skönt!=) Ska njuta av ensamheten..;) Blir inge mer sånt sen förens ja e i Barcelona.. Började tänka igår på hur kort jag ha de kvar... bara typ 2 månader, känns både vemodigt å skönt.... vette fasiken va de blir sen... letar en ny familj i Spanien men vill bara stanna några månader då....
Borde kanske göra nå nytta av denna dag nu... Älskar er mina vänner å tro på er själva ni e underbara!=)
We are the world.....<3Peace!
Hasta La Vista!Figured out A and that lead me to B...
Hela tiden finns det nya problem å nya möjligheter vi måste ta oss igenom. Livet är fullt av hinder och nya prövningar (nej är inte speciellt religiös men va finns det för andra ord?)... Vi måste kämpa oss igenom hinderbaran som oxå kallas livet. Livet kan vara gott och livet kan vara ont, men genom att fokusera på det goda kan vi ta oss igenom de svåra stunder.
Titta bara på mig, jag har mina humörsvängningar men samtidigt försvinner jag aldrig för gott ner i träsket. Jag beslutade mig för att gå ner i vikt och jag kämpar med det. Jag har ett mål, en strävan och den kommer jag att lyckas med. Äter just nu kokade grönsaker och fisk... Så jo man klarar allt man vill..=P hehe... Måste föresten upp till sportaffären å köpa en yoga matta.. Hm... har ja råd e frågan? Dyr månad nu...=( Snark!
"So you call this your free contry, tell me why it cost so much to live?" - 3 Doors Down...
Börjat med att jogga igen, ska ske med samma frekvens som innan Spanien. Spanien förstörde mina rutiner och min kropp men nu JÄVLAR ska denna Bitch komma tillbaka till den hon var förra sommaren.. Jag minns vem jag var förra sommaren;) hehe... (Yeapp, a retard!)..
http://womensrunningcentral.com/library/Running.jpg
Just don´t focus on the bad stuff, there will be light in the tunnel....I will help you find the right way if you help me with mine....<3
Love Peace and Chill out!
