Citat
Back pain!
Killing me softly with backpain, killing me softly with this back pain... Singing my whole song about this shit, it´s just killing me softly with a smile....
It feels like my back is trying to kill me, trying to make me pain for not sitting up straight or for having caried things on it I shouldn´t... This weekend I´ve been feeling like 100 years and had problems getting up and down in chairs or beds... Had an okey weekend anyways...
Friday I saw all my babes again! Worken 7 - 13:00 and then 13:00 - 14:00...=) Picked up my favgirl and we drove home, took a swim in a lake and then just eat and enjoyed life... The gang came at 19:20-ish.... We had such an amazing time, Like I was never gone...=) I love you all so freaking much! I can´t put words on it.. We went to play some volleyball!=) Bed at 2-ish...
Saturday we took a chill day, some tv, a few hours by a lake, change of clothes and then to Ö-vik saw Rix FM Festival and then home later on.. But gotta say the artists were pretty good...=) I was surprised..=) We took the car home, me and my weekend roomie went to bed at about 1-ish after eaten some crubb..=)
Sunday started of with seing a documentary about Alcatraz and it was very interesting!=) Then Mammi got up, eat some breakfast and then pretty much got ready and I drove her to the buss... Then home, took some lunch, a shower and then to my cousin who had her B-day today.. 19! Talk about an cool day! Went swiming in like 13 degrees water! It was so cold that my feet just pretty much died.. BUt took 3 dips..=P Then to another lake where we stayed in for like 30-40 min... Water temp was probobly like 20 there.. Awesome!=) Loved it! Eat Tacos, Cake, and a bunch of other things... SO good!=)
Tomorrow I wanna wake up and have a nice back! Cause will be working 15:00 - 21:00... We´ll see how that goes...
BIG KISS! AND PEACE OUT!
Midsummer...
Sleept about 2-2.30 hours and then cleaned up and fixed everything and left the apartment way early... The buss was a big buss and it was hard to get my suitcase in.. OMG it was sooo heavy! Anyways, I took the 157 buss all the way to Plaza de Castilla and from there the Metro till Nuevos Ministerios swished to the one that goes to the Airport terminals..=)
I was at the terminal very early and decided to check in right away, put up my very heavy bag on the scale and discoverd it was 25 KG! OMG, it was 5 Kg more than what is allowed.. !! I started to panic, sweating!!! Then she smiled at me and said we were okey... I was like "Thank you, Thank you!" in my head but left without saying anything else.... Texted my parents like the second after... "25Kg BUT I made it!"
The waiting was long but I read from a new magazin, I eat some food, lisened to music and I bought a Rom (to remember my partying with my favourit girl in Madrid).... Then it was time to hit the flight...=) Got on at around 5-ish and we took of around 17:45... The flight feelt long but sleept a little and had good music so was allright... Came to Stockholm, got my bag and then I meet my parents.. It feelt so nice to see them again! We hurried up to the car and drove to my grandparents in the stormy weather... It was such a cold and crappy day.. ( 14 degreed and a shit load of rain).... Meet my grandparents, gave them hugs and then we had some milk and bread..=) SWEEET!
To bed and sleept all right....
Up the next morning, breakfast, shower, went to the house on the farm.. Meet my cousins there, drank some coffe and had a traditional "Fika".. Talked for a bit, back to the town.. Eat food and played games all night.. So sweet...=) I came in second place;) I know, I rock;) haha...
Me and the whole Flowerpower!;) My grandparents...=)
The cutest house there will ever be, according to me;PThe next day was a chillday and on Sunday we drove home...=) Have had 2 other chilldays and now I´m soon leaving to meet my boss and the people I´ll be working with this summer... A little nervous but sure it will be all right... You can do anything and everything you want... We just gotta believe in ourselves...=)
Love, peace and Happiness!
Freedom!
A "friend" of min asked me if I would be mad at him, if he came here without telling me.. I told him "No, it is your own decision and you are free to make whatever choice you want. I can´t make you chose the roads that I´m on if you don´t want to go there..."
We can take a morning, make it to a day, a day to a night..... But we should never tell another person what to do with their lives or not... If he chooses to write me when he is here, then that would be it... If not then our roads are not ment to cross right here..=)
I take life as a "chillibill" now... I can´t get mad at the beautiness that lies under my feet or flows over my head... It is all a miracle and it is a gift that I´m here... The greatest gift I recived is my own life....
Sorry, feels like I´ve smoked weed or something.. but for the record Never done and pretty sure never will.... Just needed to write this... and yeah In Sweden now and I´m loving it;)!!!
Midsummer could have been better weather wise but I had so much fun with my family..=) I just freaking love them all!!!
Tuteloooo!
Besitos!
Love peace and Happiness!
missing madrid!
So in about 2 hours I´ll go to the airport... Not to excited about the in-checking of my bag... cause it´s probobly over packed... But maybe I´ll have some luck!;) Keep you thumbs hold and finger crossed for me..THANKS;)
So had a great end to this whole Madrid experience for this time.. but as you all know.. I would love to be back!;) Back in business and back with my wonderful girls and boys!=) We need to freaking do some fiestas then (If I can get back...)... I´m so happy I meet my babes here... I´m gonna mention a few just so you can feel a bit more special... Well the person I have to thank for even trying the night life is Hayly....Then when Jenna took me out and I meet Aisling thats when my eyes opend for Madrid!=) I saw everything as it should be seen and I fell in love with Madrid! =) Then I´ve survived here thanks to Leo, Sandrine, and a few more...=)
Well going home is making me happy aswell, I haven´t seen my darlings there for months and months... My best friend I haven´t seen for 9 -10 months!=P Crazy how time flies... Well anyways gotta go now... But will post some pics later and also write about my last couple of nights here in Sweet and amazing Madrid!
Oh, fuck I´ll miss it!
Peace, Love and Missing Madrid....
I <3 Madrid!
I won´t fall anymore for stupid things and I won´t cry over spilled milk... You gotta see the bright spots in life and in the human race. We all got something good in us, but for some it is harder to digg it out... I know, I´m still trying to see some good stuff in a few people..=P haha...
This saturday I went out with my darling Aisling. We went to a few Irish bars and then we went to a club called Barco. First I didn´t wanna to go at first, because I got upset with a dude that´s just a bunch of shit;P (yeah yeah, he has some good sides too like everyone... but I haven´t seen them for a while though...) ...We went and I ended up having a great time... Good Rock music and a lot of dancing!=) I meet a new friend, and I´ll be seing him more today... (I think?)... He dosen´t speak a lot of English so our conversations are very interesting:d haha... ends with me saying "No lo se, no importa" all the time..=D
So my friend Claudia is talking to a family in Madrid today for my account. They need a person to help their children with different school things and stay with them when they are at there work. Sounds like it could be fun.=) And I would actually live in the city if I got this...=) Btw, ´not saying I got it... saying there excist an possibility...=) I know I would love coming back so keep your fingers crossed for me...
Anyways; my life is great and I´m not sure if it´s summer speaking, my friends and family, or just the fact that I´m still in Madrid and have 3 more wonderful days left....=) Maybe it is everything or something else? I don´t know, but I really don´t need to know...
I live each day and I breath each breath with deep devotion of making it the best so far.... We can´t be more than what we are, and we can´t be less than what we are... We just gotta face it and realize we are perfect in every singel way... When we belive in ourselves we make others belive too...
Here is a picture from this saturday!
Peace, love and happiness.....
I love my life...=)
So I'm here again! Sorry? But as you might have noticed by now, writing is my life and the last thing I want to regret when I die is not written down my thoughts (or at least a few of them)... They might not be special or very bright but they are and will always be mine... In this world of material things...
It's strange how we need different things to function correctly; we get addicted and think we can't live without something's that we actually don't need in the first place... take my cell phone for example; in Sweden I don't really leave the house without it... but being without it sometimes offers me a special kind of relief.. we need moments in silence, without technical things and interruptions...
I guess what I want to say; take a hour, a day, a week without stressful things... The computer can be a stressful thing when it becomes a must... Like for me, I wake up in the morning thinking and wondering what might be waiting for me in my mail... It's pretty sad isn't it? I try to avoid sitting hour after hour but some days I keep coming back for more...
Went out last night and meet some cool people... I love meeting new people, and I don't know what I'll do when I get back home... Need to go searching for someone new once in a while..:P haha...
Anyways Spanish guys can be such sweethearts.... Meet so many nice once and I´ve really enjoyed spending time with a lot of them...=)
Well my first days home will be spend in a wonderful summer cottage in a part of Sweden called Dalarna. Will be there with my parents, grandparents and my aunt and uncle..=) Maybe some cousins? Not sure yet... My brother will be in Greece at this time so wont see him until the beginning of July actually... (BTW; an outhouse, no running water and sleeping on crappy beds that is the tradition... and of course eating sill and drinking Snaps, picking 7 flowers to put under the pillow for a dream about your future husband..:P haha... Who said we had normal traditions?;) )
Then when I get back, home home, I'll just cuddle down in my bed and call some friends and spend a few hours speaking to them... And the weekend after we are doing a volleyball/drinking/hanging out/ welcome back to Sweden thing!=) So excited to see everyone again!=) I've missed them soooo soooo much!
I´ll be picking up the kids, last Friday I spend with them... cause I leave back home next Thursday..,=) It´s exciting and sad... But that is life and all good things do come to an end....
Swedish short novell:
Det är nu nästan exakt tre år sedan jag begav mig till Madrid för att arbeta som engelska lärare. Jag hade fått ett relativt bra jobb och faktiskt hittat en lägenhet via en internet sida. Allting kändes spännande och intressant i en början men det visade sig att året skulle bli långt ifrån en dans på rosor. Det pågick en kris i landet och redan efter en månad med mitt första jobb fick jag sparken. Det var på gränsen att jag gav upp och begav mig hem men jag kände att de 12 månaderna jag hade beslutat mig för måste genomföras. Hittade tillslut ett nytt arbete och började nästan på direkten.
Uttråkad, lessen och med personliga problem började jag dricka. Det blev en litet avbrott i mitt trista liv. Det var så jag träffade Klara som tog mig in i hennes värld av festande, killar och gratis drknkar. Mitt liv blev genast mer glamoröst och spännande. Jag levde de kommande 9 månaderna med fester och utekvällar 2-3 ggr i veckan.
Då det återstod 12 dagar av min vistelse i Madrid hade jag ingen lust att återvända. Jag var nöjd och kände att Madrid inte hade mer att erbjuda.
Denna utekväll hade börjat lika underbart som de brukade; fördrinkar hos Klara, gratis snapsar på O´Connels och sedan hade vi lite berusade gått iväg till Enbabia... Ännu en drink senare var vi redo att skaka rumporna på golvet. Musiken pulserade i mina ådror och då Klara förklarade att hon behövde gå på toa gjorde det mig inget. Jag slutade inte dansa bara för det.
2 händer på min midja, en lätt kyss i nacken. Fundersam på vem denna någon var, eftersom jag inte bara träffat på hyllekillar i Madrid sen jag anlänt för några månader sen. Försökte därför vända mig om för att ta en glimt, det var dock omöjligt. Han viskade istället i mitt öra:
- Solo soy yo. (Det är bara jag).
- ?Y quien es "yo"? (Och vem är jag?)
- ?Tu no sabes? (Du vet inte?) Hans ena hand letade sig uppåt, en varm bubblande känsla växte inom mig.
- No, yo no sé. (Ne, jag vet inte)
- Vale, no pasa nada... (Okej, det gör inget....)
En kyss till höger om min nacke, en till vänster och sedan centrum. Då hans tungspetts snuddade vid min örsnibb, tändes lusten inom mig. Jag visste att jag måste se honom innan lusten tog över helt. I ett oväntat ögonblick snurrade jag runt och stod öga mot öga mot denna man som fått min kropp att tråna.
Han var inte "breathtaking" men det var något med hans leende jag föll för. De mörka röda läpparna och den genuina leendet. Föreställde mig hur de kysste hela min kropp. Hans ögon var djupa och den bruna färgen fick mig att smälta. Jag förstod att jag bara måste ha honom innan jag for hem tillbaka till Sverige.
Vi bytte nummer på kvällen och det slog mig att jag aldrig tidigare känt en sådan attraktion... Han var som en Gud som satt sin förtrollning på mig.... Vi kysstes aldrig denna kväll men jag visste att den kommande gången vi skulle till att ses måste jag kyssa hans läppar. Smaka på den förbjudna frukten....
Den lördagen samma vecka, då vi möttes åter kände jag attraktionen ännu starkare. Han hade redan förtrollat mig och jag visste att jag skulle följa hans minsta vink. Vi började oskyldigt att dansa med våra vänner, men sedan gick vi närmare och närmare. Hans händer på min rygg och mina över hans nacke. Efter en stund viskade han i mitt öra att han ville att jag skulle följa med ut. Jag frågade varför, han svarade att han ville prata med mig. Lite besviken gick jag med på det, talade om för mina vänner och följde med honom ut. Vi både försökte kommunicera på engelska och spanska men det var svårt. Efter en liten stund stannade han, jag tittade upp emot hans ögon och han log. Puttade sedan in mig mot en vägg och gick sedan lös med sina läppar mot mina. Vi började försiktigt men det blev allt intensivare. Kändes fel men ändå så rätt... Jag kunde inte stoppa det som sedan hände....
Det blev vår första natt tillsammans och de följande nio dagar kom vi att spendera sida vid sida.
Jag for hem till Sverige med tron att detta var en söt romans som tog slut i samma veva som jag kom hem. Men redan samma dag då jag väl anlänt fick jag ett mail där det stod att han hoppades att jag snart skulle vara tillbaka. Det var då jag visste att det inte gick att leva utan honom.
Sålde det som fanns i min gammla lägenhet, talade om för alla att jag funnit en man i Spanien och for sedan tillbaka för att sattsa helhjärtat på denna relation. Nu 2 år senare bor vi ihop och jag älskar honom mer än allt annat.
Vissa berättelser har faktiskt lyckliga slut....."
Live only for you....
"I wonder how it would feel to fall down in your arms and let time pass us bye....
I could drown in your eyes, feel the adrenaline pumping throughout my body, feel your hands, letting your mouth enbrase mine, and then I know I could die happy... Cause one night with you is greater than all the treasures in the whole entire universe... I guess what I´m trying to say is; That I was made to love you... Is it scary? Oh, bloody yes it is....."
I just don´t know how to react about anything or how to think anymore.. maybe I need this summer to chase my doubts away? Cause who knows I might find myself again? Surrounded by my family and friends might work miracle..=) I know it will to a certain extent but I can´t garentee I can ever go back to who I use to be... Which is good, cause I like who I became and I don´t feel like going back to Miss Im-affraid-of-speaking-my-mind again... I am what I´ve become I´m fucking Mola now;) haha...
No but let talk for real, I have no energy or time to spend on things I don´t enjoy doing anymore... I won´t change for anybody and I don´t want anybody to change for me either... We are whom we are, are we´re living for a world that is not always what we want it to be... But what is? Let´s just fucking embrace the world and live what we want to live... Live only for you.....
Nothing in this world can bring us down, cause we found a higher ground....
Live, Love and Lightness...
...in peace with that...
A few days ago I was told I was beautiful by a random guy... It should make my day shine a little brighter but all it does is making me think of how I use to look... I´m not beautiful, but I´m in peace with that... I´m not this fantastic chick who will sweap you off your feet, I´m okey with that too... But I am something, nobody else can be, I am me and I´m in peace with that aswell... I use to see the world as my game field, I could chose the game and and where to go but I can never know if I´ll win or lose. The same thing in life; we can make choices but we can never see the outcome of any of them. Of course sometimes we think we do, but we really don´t... Do we?
I live in the moment and I take day by day as it comes to me... I don´t want to live a life that is all ready planed... I wanna live the life that I think is right for me... If that means I´ll regret doing something later, then that will be better than regreting all of those things I never did... Like I always wished I would have told the only boy I´ve ever loved that I loved him... I left him with that unsaid....
Dreams are what we make of them... My dream is to return home and have a amazing summer. Maybe find somebody to fallow me in the path of life.... I said to my friend yesterday that I would like things less complicated for awhile. So what do I mean with that? Well I meant; I would love to meet somebody who understands me. But not not just understand what they can see but the part of me you have to fight to actually see..... I would love if that could happend...
Anyways, time for a new thing!
I´m excited about returning home, it´s getting to a point where all I can think about is about my closes friends.. I´ll give two of my favve a big thanks here... MAMMI & FRIDA! Without you, where would I have been?=) I love you girls for ever!=) Your amazing and I´ll soon see you again!=)
Just some random things, but still not random.... Nothing is really random, is it?
Love, Peace, Hapiness!
(Ps: I love you.....)
Love & Live Life!
Anyways that is off my chest...
The time I spend in Barcelona was just freaking amazing! I had a wonderful week with my parents and we enjoyed the sun and the beach! We went turisting, sightsing, eating (TAPAS, yumm!) and just hanged out!=) I love my parents and I miss them heeps when I´m here in Spain.... They are allways there for me.. All I can say about Barcelona is it´s in my heart.... The city is amazing!!!! I LOVED IT!!!!=)
Need to think about what my next step will be now..=) Going home to Sweden in like 16 days now... Crazy! Time has just been passing me by.... But yesterday I went turisting and meet 3 new girls that was nice to hang out with..=)
Love Life and Live Life....
