Why will I be healty again?
Hola, Buenos dias!
Okey, I gotta admitt doing better is harder than I thought.. This will take time and energy... Shit, shit, shit.... How could I even put myself in this mess? Stupid stupid me....
Well I gotta fight and figure out why I got myself in this mess at all... I deserv better.. SO FROM TODAY ON!
Sticks and stones can hurt my bones,
But words will no longer hurt me...
I think some of this problems that I´m facing is because I have this thing about hating myself... I don´t detest me anymore but I can´t say I like me... I mean there is a difference... Now you probobly wonder what shit I´m talking about but here is the deal...
When I stand in the metro and see myself in the mirror all I wanna do is cry... I look away, my eyes keep ging back to stare at my body and for everytime it makes me wanna eat more... make me more disgusting, make me more uggly.... It dosen´t make sence, I know, but in this sickness all you do is eat... I eat cause I´m bored, happy, sad... you name it.... Today I did better... a little better but still it´s far away from normal... Oh fuck, I just wanna go back to whom I was this summer! This summer I looked so amazing! I wasn´t skinny nor fat, I was just perfect in my eyes.... So it´s a new day from now on and I will be healty once more! I will, I will, I will...
Why will I be healty again?
Cause I can, Cause I want to and cause I will succed! I will succed at last!
Moa the happy hamster has left the building! And yeah need another day of the sprinkler;) Jippi!
